SnowWhite Battlefield
by Sunday's New-Undead
Summary: MiakaTasuki, Altered Events, R for serious scenarios, violence, expletives, and sexual reference... With a struggle in the snow, a different view of what Miaka and Tasuki share is brought forth.
1. Struggle

~Warning~ Unmarked spoilers are everywhere. You have been warned.  
  
I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, I claim no rights to it. It's all copyright Yu Watase. This is really quite angsty...so...not for the light of heart. My friend was desperate for me to write some Tasuki /Miaka drama, and so I present her with this. I'm really not quite as dark and dreary as I seem, so I promise brighter fics. for the future xD. Thanks for reading!  
  
Alright, so here's the deal, the story is set just after Miaka has retrieved the Shinzaho from the Ice Cave in Genbu Country. Nuriko is dead, and we're at the exact point Ashitare has stolen the Shinzaho in wolf form. Taitsu-kun (the fake one) never appears and it's Tasuki who catches up to Miaka.  
  
Chapter One - Struggle  
  
The moment the necklace left her hands, she felt like one thousand needles had skewered her. Her heart, her soul, her mind, everything was torn as the wolf bolted for the trees. N, no... She heard her own breath, and for a brief moment she swore the world was hushed, and it was merely her, her...and the wolf. No, it didn't deserve that title. Ashitare...no, the wolf was a monster. Nuriko. She writhed. Nuriko! He died at the hands of that same creature. It pained her to envision that claw plunging through his side, holding him in the air like an impaled trophy of victory and valor. He died for the necklace, the Shinzaho... Not just his life, like passing in a dream, he died horribly, from fatigue, blood loss, wounds, and damaged vitals. It wasn't the same! Miaka screamed on the inside. His death was still too heavy on her heart. Why did the good have to die? Why did this monster live on while Nuriko was doomed to lay buried beneath the snow? It wasn't fair! Bursting into tears, Miaka screamed out in anguish, bolting after Ashitare.  
  
"Come back! Come back!" She screamed and yelled as she forced her legs forward faster and faster. Swift and agile, she leapt over branches and obstacles, her teeth clenched, the wind howling and tearing away at her uncovered face. But whiplash wouldn't stop her. She shut her eyes tight, tears streaming across her face and flying into the air as she flew by. Yui... There was no forgiveness for this. It was one thing for her to hate her best friend, to steal her love away from her...but this...no this was murder. It wasn't just a fight between friends anymore. It had gone too far. People were dying now. It wasn't ever going to be the same. That Nuriko had to...had to die because of Yui's inability to forgive...no. That wasn't fair. Nuriko never deserved to die. Miaka only ran faster, and faster, as the forest seemed to blend together into a blurry picture of gray and white.  
  
"Miaka! Stop!" Tamahome yelled, running after her. Tasuki and the others were soon to follow. Tamahome stopped at the first clearing in the woods. "Miaka!" He called again. He looked around carefully, but the priestess of Suzaku was nowhere to be found. All of their hearts were heavy, and now they stood, dazed and confused, as Tamahome crashed to his knees, tears dripping down his face. "Miaka..." He punched the snow. Tasuki came up behind him...slowly, and carefully. "Tama, it's alright, she ain't of gotten too far with those little girlie legs of hers." He said reassuringly. Tamahome nodded. "I'm sorry Tasuki, everyone..." And he stood. Chichiri, the ever-knowing monk, observed the surroundings. He knew the wolf was Ashitare, and in that case, he'd be heading back to the Seiryu camp... "I'll go on this way, if we all split up, I'll bet we find 'er real quick." Tasuki interrupted his thoughts, however, Tasuki's plan was all they could do at the moment, and so they all split up.  
  
Tasuki had an advantage. His ability, among other things, was speed. He could fly through these woods as if it were a light jog, and what was more was that his running didn't require all of his attention, so he could freely look around the area at every moment for his dear priestess of suzaku. Damn it, Miaka, what'd ya do this for? He thought angrily. I mean, I mean we're all sad about Nuriko dyin' and stuff, but still...you're alone out there, it ain't safe for a woman to be out by herself with that...thing...He growled to himself, searching desperately. However...fer a girl, she can run pretty damn fast when she wants to... This frustrated him more and more. Miaka was his life since he joined the Suzaku seven. Not because it was his destiny, no, it was because he had never realized such a need to protect one single thing in his entire life. He knew he loved her that night, when she threw herself onto Aiken, tugging at the Tessen that was rightfully his. He was too shocked to do anything about it. No one had ever done that...risked so much for him. He was a low-life scum compared to her. Hell, the first time they met he'd kidnapped her as means of bargaining for the boss's seat, a self-centered desire for a job that was as unscrupulous as his actions. She'd cried over him, cared for him, jumped overboard when he fell off the ship...No one had ever seemed to love and care for him as much as her. And at that moment, he wondered if...maybe he really did...love her.  
  
In a flash he saw a pink figure, racing through the woods. Miaka. He quickly darted over to her, surprised at how for a short while, she kept a steady pace ahead of him, with just those scrawny legs of hers. In a moment, he had a firm grip on her shoulder, and she stumbled forward.  
  
"Miaka!" She snapped back to reality. Running was an act of sub- consciousness, and her focus was only on the fact she was torn apart. At first, the comfort of the hand gripping her shoulder and the sound of her name seemed like Tamahome. Tamahome...she'd abandoned him...and the others. But it wasn't Tamahome. She knew the voice, wild and untamable. It belonged to Tasuki. For a moment, she slowed, but now, seeing the faint image of Ashitare, still racing away in the distance, she knew she couldn't stop. She had to keep running. I'm sorry Tasuki...I must betray you now just as I did back in the Kutou palace...please forgive me... She stifled more tears, as her arm, in one swift motion, batted his hand away.  
  
Tasuki was shocked. She'd punched his hand away with fervor and kept running. Where was she running? Ashitare had been long gone by now, and with his sharp golden eyes, he scanned the distance for him. Nothing. The wolf was too far-gone. Yet Miaka still ran. It was Nuriko that forced her forward. Tasuki kept forgetting she was just a kid, and a girl...it wasn't her fault she was having trouble dealing with the death of someone so close to her. In her mind, she must only be a few steps behind Ashitare, right on his tail. But Ashitare was gone...not even Tasuki could catch up to him now.  
  
"Miaka!" He yelled her name again, running after her. She just kept racing forward. When was she going to get tired? He tried grabbing her arms or shoulders, but with surprising strength, she punched him away. Miaka...damn it, I'm sorry to do this... He raced up behind her, and, throwing his arms around her swiftly, he pulled her into him tightly. Miaka struggled violently, wheezing and coughing as she grunted angrily, gritting her teeth.  
  
"No! Stop it! Tasuki let me go!" She cried, tears streaming down her face. Tasuki bit his lower lip so hard it bled. He couldn't take this bashing, not from her. She hated him now. It took a very good deal of his strength just to keep her in his hold.  
  
"Miaka, stop, stop struggling...Miaka." He tried to be calm, but everything that was happening...he couldn't take the cuts that were forming on his heart. Nuriko, the Shinzaho, and now his priestess was screaming and cursing at him, hysterical and lost.  
  
"Tasuki! Stop, please! I almost have him, he's right there in the distance. Tasuki!" She sobbed and punched and kicked. Tasuki had never felt so beaten down in his life. He was denying Miaka the satisfaction of retrieving the Shinzaho, the sacred item Nuriko had given his damn life for. Her tears. It made Tasuki ache all over. He hated when girls cried. He hated it. It pained him so. She's crying because of me...I made her cry...I can't, I can't believe it... He felt lower than ever before. A swift elbow in his chin, and his hold on her weakened. Miaka took the opportunity to kick at his shins. He screamed out in pain, and, with only one arm holding Miaka, he fell to his knees, pulling her down with him. It wasn't the kick; it was the emotional blows that came with the kick. She was fighting him, and it made his heart scream. Miaka batted more and more as she struggled to get away. Flailing his arms, Tasuki kept trying to get a good hold on her again, and with a kick, Miaka wriggled away, falling onto the snow, and crawling as fast as she could. She had lost all sense and reason, and if she kept this up, she'd pass out from lack of energy. She didn't realize her own fatigue. Tasuki fell in the snow along with her, and, both of them sprawled in the snow, he grabbed for her feet, and she in turn kicked snow off into his face. It was a violent struggle, and it made Tasuki feel like a real villain.  
  
With one final groan of pain, he grabbed on her ankle. Miaka let out a cry of anguish, as she flailed her free ankle. Tasuki grabbed her other leg with his free hand, and with all his strength, he climbed on top of her, holding her down by straddling her back, his hands holding her wrists in the snow. His last ditch attempts to hold her in place had too painful a closeness to rape for him to bear, and he tried to ignore it as he flipped her over, always holding her wrists down.  
  
"No, Nuriko!" Miaka screamed. Her legs kicked and the entirety of her being bucked and writhed against his hold. What am I doing? Tasuki was horrified. He held his knees tighter against her sides, and gripped her wrists harder, as he turned red from embarrassment and pain. He rode each and every one of her thrusts against him, which made him terribly uncomfortable and red. Her legs fought to pry his legs, and she stomped her feet through the snow, always yelling at him to stop. There was nothing he could do about it, Tasuki felt like a villain, a rapist, and an attacker. Straddling a defenseless girl in her time of sorrow. Slowly, her persistence faded as her fatigue caught up with her, until she just lay there still, sobbing. She cried like a small child, inhaling loudly, large, crystalline tears gushing from her eyes. She heaved now, and Tasuki shamefully watched the high rise and fall of her chest, the fever on her brow, and the feel of her swollen thighs closed tight between his legs. His mark pulsed with a radiant red glow...he knew it wasn't from the struggle. With every tear, he felt closer to the edge of utter hatred and loathing...complete abjuration of himself.  
  
"...Tasuki." Miaka moaned painfully through the tears tiredly. He looked into her eyes, her lids swollen and heavy, her eyes like green swirls of paint running.  
  
"God, Miaka...are you gonna be alright?" He didn't know exactly what to say. "I'm sorry...Tasuki, I'm so...I'm so sorry." She said weakly, looking away. Tasuki slowly, embarrassedly released his hold and sat back upon her, still straddling her in his dazed confusion. In a moment, with the last of her strength, Miaka flung herself up and against him, clutching at his cloak, sobbing into his chest. Tasuki shook tremendously...his trembling hands resting on her back, cold and wet from the snow. She shook perhaps more violently from him, from the fatigue, the pain, and the cold.  
  
"Oh Tasuki!" She cried into him. He swallowed hard, and stroked the top of her head, resting his chin carefully on the messy masses of her brown hair. "Tasuki, I'm so sorry...I'm sorry, it's...Nuriko, I...how could I let that happen? Oh Tasuki...Tasuki...I'm sorry." She was incoherent and weak, sobbing into him. Tasuki inhaled harshly, staring into the sky, as he tried desperately to fight back his own tears. Not now, dammit...Damn it, Tasuki, why can't you be a goddamn man...just this once, why can't you? Why can't you for Miaka's sake? Damn... And, finally yielding, he let the tears fall himself, and in a moment, he was mutually clutching Miaka for comfort, sobbing into her auburn tresses. Why was everything so horrible right now? Why was everything so bloody, violent, and sad? Why must there be pain in order to forge ahead?  
  
The two clutched at each other and wept weakly...vulnerably. In the end, swashed in black and white, the two of them were only children...they didn't deserve to have to handle this. Why did Tasuki almost have to die fighting Tamahome, an ally? Why did Miaka have to get her arm crushed to pieces, and her feelings shattered? Why did Nuriko have to die? Why did Ashitare have the Shinzaho? Why couldn't the summoning have worked? Why was everything going wrong? The two shook in each other's embrace, their bodies soaked from cold and snow as they collapsed to the ground... 


	2. Epilogue

Tasuki awoke later, bruised all over. Painfully, he sat up. Tamahome, Chichiri, Mitsukake, and Chiriko stared at him worriedly. Miaka. He shot up. "Where's Miaka?" Chichiri gripped his shoulder. "Don't worry, Tasuki, she's just fine, you know? I promise you. See?" He made a wide gesture to Tasuki's left, where Miaka slept soundly, wrapped in blankets. Tasuki sighed. "Good." Slowly, he laid back down. "What happened, you know?" Chichiri asked. Tasuki turned away. "I...I don't know Chiri...I just remember findin' Miaka on the ground..." He lied as he groaned at his swollen back. Chichiri nodded slowly. Tasuki forced himself up, and hobbled over to Miaka's sleeping form. She'd strewn her blankets aside, leaving her lying in little more than a slip and her underwear, the same as back in the ice cave. Tasuki turned red as he stared at her. Not too long ago was he on top of her... He swallowed hard as he looked at her wrists, red and raw, and her thighs blue. Her ankles were swollen as well, along with most of her small body. Tasuki felt...so terribly low he didn't think he even deserved to live. Slowly, he made his way to the clearing where he'd caught Miaka. He stared at the snow...it was terribly thrashed and diced into uneven mounds. He saw where Miaka laid, where he'd fallen to his knees, where her small feet had smashed into the snow, he saw everything in that clearing of broken snow. He fell to his knees in the same place as before.  
  
Miaka, please...please find it in yer heart to forgive me fer this...  
  
He thought as he stared in disbelief at the snow-white battleground before him.  
  
A/N: Well, okay, it probably didn't make you feel like running among sunflowers singing nursery rhymes, but still, I worked hard. Tasuki can be hard to write sometimes...sheesh, especially when he's called for a serious situation. I hope I didn't make it too annoyingly dramatic, I blame the opera music I listen to. Maybe my light-heartedness among the author's notes will make you more accepting of this blah-ish fic. Reviews are welcome, and thanks so much for reading :F 


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